Insecurities are like opinions– we’ve all got them. But we don’t all want to share them. No matter where you’re at in life, you have something you are insecure about. Maybe it’s the way it’s hard to zip up an old pair of jeans or how you feel about yourself when you walk into the gym. Maybe it’s the way your body is built differently than your friend’s or how you secretly think you’re “too much” for your loved ones. Maybe your insecurities are more physical than mental or vice versa. Whatever you are insecure about– you’re not alone.
I like to pride myself with the fact that I’ve never been an insanely insecure person, physically that is. While there will always be aspects of my body I would like to change, I have always been appreciative my body and for all it does for me. Let’s think about all our bodies do for us: our hearts beat, our blood flows, our brains think, our lungs breath in and out air, our eyes blink, our ears hear, and that is all happening without us consciously thinking about any of it.
But, as I have gotten older and more aware of myself, I am becoming more self conscious about my body and mental health. For example, where I used to think my thighs were strong, I am now worried they’re too big. Where I used to think wearing my heart on my sleeve was a good quality, I now question whether people get tired of me talking about how I feel.
As someone who is relatively new at being so consumed with the way my body looks or if I am acting the right way, I can say it has taken a toll on my joy and energy. It’s exhausting always worrying about if I should be losing weight or if my friends really want to hang out with me. The battle with insecurity is tough, and I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that. And frankly, I’m over being insecure. Being insecure doesn’t bring me joy, doesn’t make me feel better about myself and it doesn’t change anything about my body or personality. It is a pointless feeling, yet we all are still held captive by it everyday.
Because of this, I’ve made a list of ways I am trying to battle my insecurities, both physical and mental. This list isn’t a guarantee that your insecurities will go away or that you will even feel better within the first few days of doing these things. But I can promise you one thing– it won’t make you feel any worse. Getting past insecurities is hard work, and it will most likely take some time to become fully comfortable and confident in who you are and how you look. I know the challenges, but I’m still making the choice to start today, and you can, too. Here are some practical ways I’m fighting my insecurities:
1) Make a Truth Mirror
Just a few days ago, I decided to turn my mirror into a truth mirror, and to be completely transparent, I can already tell a difference in the way I view myself. I saw this idea on Ashley Hetherington’s page on TikTok, and I thought I would give it a try. All you have to do is put sticky notes with affirmations, quotes, Bible verses or whatever encourages you on your mirror. Then, whenever you look in the mirror and would regularly criticize yourself, you can be reminded of who you really are and why you’re important.
2) Work on What You Can, Accept What You Can’t
This is a hard truth, but there are traits about every one of us that we will never be able to change no matter how hard we may try. There are plenty of things we can change or work on that we may be insecure about, like toning a specific part of your body or building strength in weaker areas. These things are all achievable, but there are also aspects of us that aren’t easily changed. For example, our genetics (your build, bone structure, etc.) can’t be changed. Going to the gym or starving yourself won’t change your DNA, and tearing yourself down surely won’t work either.
While we might not like this fact, it can also provide some comfort. You can’t change everything about yourself, and that’s okay. No amount of work will be the magic trick. So, why dwell on the parts of you that will always be there? Instead, if you are insecure about a certain way your body looks, in a healthy way, work on that area. Embrace the fact that there are ways to actively become more confident in your body, and learn to love the parts of yourself that can’t be changed.
3) Surround Yourself with Uplifting Community
I can’t stress this enough– you become who you surround yourself with. If you are surrounded by negativity, you will lead a negative life. If you surround yourself with people who support, uplift and love you (no matter what size jeans you wear or how much you may cry), you will not only feel better, but you can uplift them as well. Happy people make others happy. Supported people support others. It’s a win-win.
4) Treat Yourself like a Friend
This one’s simple– talk to yourself how you would talk to a friend. Would you tell your friend that they’re not the “right” size? No. Would you tell them they’re too much to handle? No. Would you tell them they’re not worthy of being here? No.
All of these horrendous things we would never say to a friend, but somehow we still think it’s okay to say them to ourselves. Guys, we’ve got to be more kind to ourselves. It may be hard, but it will be so worth it.
